Hot Anger, Gentle Warmth
by Pupmon1
Summary: Camilla is terrifying when she's angry...but so gentle in her warmth. [The Dragon's Retainers]


" _BERUKA_!" Beruka's motions jittered and she ended up cutting herself on the axe she was sharpening when her lady's voice echoed through halls. She looked up and flinched when Camilla practically knocked her door down.

"L-Lady Camilla?" Beruka felt jittery, the hot anger pouring off of her mistress.

"What in all nine hells is this?!" Camilla demanded, slamming a paper on to Beruka's bedstand, the smaller woman flinching from the sound of cracking wood.

The assassin gulped softly and carefully inched over...and her expression went blank at the paper. It was the contract someone had stolen a few days ago. For a moment all she could think was that she should've done a better to retrieve it...but one glance upward dispelled those thoughts.

" _Answer me_!" Camilla demanded, her hand crackling with magic.

Beruka sat up, her gaze locked down on the floor. "An assassin's contract, Lady Camilla."

Camilla's eyes narrowed and her voice became dark and cold. "Don't call me that." Beruka twitched a little, a dull pain beginning to rise in her chest, but she remained silent. "Niles found this in your dresser. Why?"

Beruka felt she was back in that cell again, being interrogated by someone terrifying...so she responded how she did before, with the truth. "It is all I know how to do. It's...what I'm trained to do. I can't just...sit around and do nothing."

Camilla was silent for a few moments before speaking softly. "I told you, you wouldn't have to do that again, that you're not an assassin anymore. Give me a reason, one reason, why I shouldn't throw you out on the street for defying me?"

Beruka was silent. She didn't have a reason. Camilla should throw her out, she defied her. At least, that's what her mind was saying. But her chest was starting to hurt. Worse than it ever had before. The idea of leaving made it worse...it felt like her heart was beating too fast and too hard.

"I'm waiting."

Beruka looked up at Camilla's cold voice...and answered honestly. "...it hurts…"

Camilla paused, the angry light fading from her red eyes. "Wh-what?"

"I...don't want to leave...it hurts…I disobeyed, I deserve to be punished. I deserve to be kicked out, but it hurts." Beruka found herself gripping at her chest, and her usual quiet voice was strained, akin to those who pleaded her for their lives. She lowered her head and closed her eyes. That voice gained her targets no mercy...why should she expect it for herself? Her voice shook in a moment of weakness. "I am what I am…"

Camilla let out a soft sigh and she gently sat beside her retainer. She put an arm around Beruka and pulled her close. "Shhh...shh...I'm not going to send you away…" she cooed softly, gently rubbing Beruka's arm. "Calm down, my dear…"

Beruka didn't look up, she didn't deserve to. Her mind was running through thoughts faster than she could really process them. All she could pick out was that she failed. Her father's words echoed in her head alongside her thoughts.

"I failed."

Camilla shook her head and sighed. "No no...I shouldn't have yelled at you, dear Beruka. I...know the kind of hurt you're feeling all too well. Calm down. Just...explain why you took the contract."

"I-I didn't know what else to do...I was left alone...no...I don't know. I'm used to one order after the other...finish one contract, move to the next...that's all I've done for so long…"

"I understand. I'm sorry Beruka."

Beruka slowly lifted her head at Camilla's gentle words, the small, comforting smile on her. She was so kind and gentle…something Beruka wasn't used to. Kindness...gentleness...these were foreign to her. The ache in her chest lessened, a strange warmth welling up to take it's place.

Camilla gently pulled her retainer into her lap. "How about this, my dear. I'll keep you as busy as I can, training, missions, teaching you about Garnet. But if you feel you need it, you can get a contract to fill free time. But, you have to run it past me first."

Beruka rested her head on Camilla's warm shoulder and she carefully nodded. "...yes...Lady Camilla…"

Camilla smiled down at the small woman in her lap, and watched her usual rigid body relax, her hands falling into her lap, and her head turning to invite the darkness of being buried in Camilla's shoulder. It was precious, Beruka almost looked...fragile.

"Are you tired, Beruka?" Camilla asked softly.

Beruka slowly nodded, humming softly. "...hmm...yes, Lady Camilla…"

Camilla smiled, but held Beruka still when she tried to get up. "No no no...you're not going anywhere."

Beruka looked up as Camilla shifted positions, scooting more onto the bed, then she laid back, pulling Beruka down on top of her.

"L-Lady Camilla?" Beruka asked carefully, looking up at her mistress nervously.

Camilla smiled and gently ran her fingers through Beruka's hair. "Shhh…relax...don't worry about what I'm doing. Just relax."

Beruka was gently pushed to put her head down and Camilla held her in her strong, yet gentle arms. That warm feeling started to overcome her, and the young assassin became aware of more than she was before. The soft rise and fall of Camilla's chest as she breathed was soothing...the gentle hand rubbing her head, her fingers running through her hair was relaxing...and if she tilted her head correctly, she could hear Camilla's heart beat, a lethargic pulse Beruka could get lost in.

Camilla smiled as she felt Beruka relax on top of her. It wasn't complete...but she could tell Beruka was asleep on some level. She let her hand rest on Beruka's back and she closed her eyes. "...I just have to learn to understand…" she said, her voice barely rising above a whisper before she allowed herself to drift to sleep.

Neither woman was usually comfortable sleeping with someone else in the bed. Beruka was trained to notice every detail of her environment, even in her sleep, and wake up at the slightest hint of other life, and while Camilla's training was much less formal, the result was the same. But for the first time in a long, long time, they felt comfortable sleeping with someone else in the room.

* * *

Camilla's eyes fluttered open as light streamed in from the window. She groaned and stretched lightly, deeming that the best night sleep she's ever had since she was a child. The first thing she became aware of is that window of the room was open, a cool morning breeze flowing in from outside. The next thing was when she turned her head away from the morning light...the cracked table made her flinch, but she noticed the contract was gone. And lastly, the weight she fell asleep with was gone. She slowly sat up, stretching, but she paused when something fell into her lap.

She looked down, and couldn't help but smile. She gently picked up the purple lily and spun it between her forefinger and thumb. "Maybe that girl is more normal than I give her credit for…"

The princess placed the small flower on the cracked nightstand, then got up. She should replace that before Beruka comes back...and she needs to talk to Niles about snooping around her retainer.


End file.
